


What Happens At The Gay Bar...

by RyspositoWritings



Category: Castle
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Love Confessions, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4402613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyspositoWritings/pseuds/RyspositoWritings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a serial killer targeting gay men is on the loose, Kevin Ryan is determined to stop him. When he suggests  going undercover at a gay bar, his partner, Javier Esposito, is the only one who seems to be against it. What transpires at the bar confirms Esposito's worst fears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happens At The Gay Bar...

**Author's Note:**

> I want to make it clear that a rape scene does not actually happen, but it does get close and I want to avoid triggering anyone.

                                                          

 

Gates stood in front of the precinct, a grim expression on her face. “This is the fifth death.” She said. “Five men are dead and we aren’t any closer to catching this killer.”

“Sir.” Beckett hesitated, looking over at Ryan. Ryan nodded his encouragement and she turned back to Gates. “We have an idea. Well, Ryan had an idea.”

Gates turned her attention to Ryan, an eyebrow raised. “I think anything you come up with now could only help.”

Ryan cleared his throat and stepped forward. “Well, we were talking about how the killer seems to target gay men. Every victim was picked up from a gay club, so I was thinking… maybe we should put someone in there. Scope out the bar, see if they can find him.”

“How will you know which bar he’ll be in?” Gates asked.

“We don’t know for sure.” Beckett replied. “But he seems to be moving between bars, never picking anyone up at the same one twice in a row. We’re not sure if he has a pattern, but we have three bars he hasn’t been to yet and we figured he would probably be in one of them. He’ll be looking for his next victim soon. If we have someone in there, they may be able to spot him. Real luck would be if he chooses them. Better a cop knowing what they’re doing than an unsuspecting victim.”

“I take it you have someone in mind?”

Beckett and Ryan exchanged a look and Ryan raised his hand.

“Absolutely not.” Gates said.

“That’s what I said, sir.” Esposito chimed in for the first time. He’d been dead set against this from the beginning and couldn’t even believe Beckett was considering it.

“Sir,” Ryan said, giving Esposito a look and then turning back to her. “I have a strong background of going undercover. Not only back in narcotics, but I was able to steal that bible from Bobby S. I know this is something I can do and… I fit the victim profile. If there’s anyone here he would go after, it’s me. I’m the best choice. We only have a few days before he strikes again and we have no leads. This is the only thing we can do at this point.”

Gates regarded him for a while.

“Sir, you’re not actually considering it?” Esposito said, watching her expression soften.

“This might be the only choice.” She said softly.

“But, sir-”

“I don’t like it anymore than you do, Detective.” She sighed. “But Detective Ryan has a point. He does fit the profile and he has experience.”

“We can’t just send him into the arms of a killer!” Esposito protested.

“I know how to handle myself, Javi.” Ryan said. “I can do this.”

Esposito gave him a long look, so many things running through his head that he wanted to say. He shook his head and then stormed off, presumably to go hit something.

“When Detective Esposito cools off, start planning.” Gates said to Beckett. “And make sure you have everything planned down to the last detail. I’m not letting something happen to Detective Ryan because of negligence.”

“Yes, sir.” Beckett said.

Everyone returned to their work and Ryan left to find Esposito. He knew where he was without even having to think about it.

He slowly made his way down to the gym, giving Esposito a little time to beat out some of his frustration on the punching bag before he ambushed him.

As expected, Esposito had taken off his shirt and was in the process of beating the stuffing out of a punching bag. He looked up when he saw Ryan come in and hesitated before resuming his punching.

Ryan walked closer until he was only about a foot away. “Espo-”

“No.” Esposito cut him off. He sniffed before going back to mindless violence.

“Javi,” Ryan said softly, stepping right up to the bag, steadying it and stopping Esposito from continuing.

“What the hell are you trying to do, Kevin?” Esposito asked. “Do you want to get yourself killed?”

“I’m going to be fine.” Ryan said.

Esposito scoffed. “Seriously? You think you’re gonna come out of this okay? You’ve seen what this guy does to his victims, just the thought of you-”

“He’s not gonna do any of that to me.” Ryan interrupted. “Besides that, there’s no guarantee that he’ll come after me, and even if he does, I know how to defend myself.”

“Oh, you do?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Ryan asked, angry.

“Just that every time you and I have sparred, you haven’t won a single match.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” Ryan said, crossing his arms over his chest. “Not only have I won, I’ve completely kicked your ass before.”

“Only because I let you.” Esposito mumbled.

Ryan gritted his teeth. “Okay, fine.” He turned and shucked off his coat and removed his tie, opening his collar and rolling up his sleeves.

“Come on, Kev, what are you doing?” Esposito asked.

“Making a point.” Ryan said as he grabbed some spare sparring gloves and eased them on, wrapping the straps around his wrists. He turned to face his partner. “Let’s do this.”

“I’m not fighting you.”

“Why not?” Ryan asked. “Afraid I’ll beat the shit out of you?”

Esposito glared. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

They faced each other and took a fighting stance.

Esposito made the first move, attempting to get a few punches in. Ryan blocked each one and returned with his own attacks, all of which were also blocked. It was a few minutes of punching and blocking before Ryan attempted to place a well aimed kick to Esposito’s middle. Esposito caught his foot and shoved him away, almost toppling him over.

“Is that all you’ve got?” Esposito asked.

Instead of answering, Ryan came in for another few attacks, punching where he could and only getting one punch in, but it was enough to feel a slight victory getting the first punch. Esposito was somewhat less than amused and returned with his own attacks, each one getting more brutal. He succeeded in pushing Ryan to the edge of the mat, but Ryan spun out of the way and ended up behind his partner who also turned before Ryan could do anything.

Esposito came in again, his swings feeling a little more frantic as he tried to prove his point. But Ryan had his own point to prove and only let Esposito get two hits in.

They were panting and sweating by this point, Ryan suddenly feeling like doing this in his work clothes was a bad idea. He didn’t have much time to dwell on that, however, because Esposito wasn’t finished. He got in a good blow to the ribs, but Ryan was able to get away from him before he could do too much damage. Ryan didn’t let the pain show, but dear god did that hurt. Esposito had some massive arms.

Esposito came in again, every punch being blocked by Ryan. Ryan spun around and out of his range before moving to kick him again. Esposito once again caught his foot, but instead of shoving him away, he pulled and Ryan crashed to the ground. Esposito was suddenly kneeling down and very close to Ryan’s face, the two of them breathing and sweating as they stared at each other.

“See?” Esposito asked, slightly out of breath. “I have every reason to be worried about you.”

Ryan swallowed as he stared up at his partner hovering over him.

Esposito stood and headed back to the locker room, leaving Ryan on the floor in a mess of confused feelings.

~.~.~

Neither of the boys had resolved anything, but they had no time to work on their relationship as Ryan had work to do.

Esposito sat at his desk, glaring at nothing in particular, while he and his partners waited for Ryan to come out of the bathroom in his undercover outfit.

Lanie had helped with choosing the outfit, the only one in the group with any kind of fashion sense, and she reassured everyone that Ryan was going to look fabulous. The two of them, however, had been in the bathroom for a long time and Esposito couldn’t understand what could possibly be taking them so long. It was a shirt, pants, and new shoes. What more could they do?

Apparently, quite a lot.

Lanie came out of the bathroom first with a smile on her face. “Honestly, I think this is some of my best work, if I do say so myself.”

A second after she moved to the side, Ryan came out.

Esposito’s breath hitched, Beckett’s mouth fell open, and Castle had no words, which was a new thing for him.

Lanie had put Ryan in dark skinny jeans. They weren’t so tight that it looked like he couldn’t breathe, but they showed off everything. Literally. Everything. He wore a dark blue button up with the sleeves rolled up to the middle of his forearms and the top two buttons open, and a simple pair of dress shoes that actually looked like a pair he already owned, except shiny and new. Further up, Lanie had styled his hair in a messy just-woke-up look and she’d lined his eyes in black eyeliner. She’d also told him to keep his five o’clock shadow. As for accessories, he wore a simple watch and had a chain around his neck, whatever was on it was hidden underneath his clothes, and earrings. They were simple little silver hoops, but no one in the room could remember when Ryan had pierced his ears.

Esposito swallowed hard.

“Okay,” Beckett said, recovering first. “So, you’ve got your wire?”

Ryan nodded.

“Where are you gonna stash your gun?” Castle asked, looking down at the skinny jeans and back up.

Ryan shrugged. “I… wasn’t gonna bring one.”

“You’re not gonna take a gun?” Esposito asked, having finally found his voice again.

“Esposito, look at me. Where the hell am I supposed to put it?”

“Anywhere!” Esposito said. “In your shirt, the back of your pants, just find a place. You shouldn’t go in there unarmed.”

“I’m not. You guys will be right outside and I’ve got my wire. If anything happens, you’ll be right there.”

Esposito glared at him and gritted his teeth.

Ryan sighed. “I’ll be fine. If you want, I can strap a knife to my ankle, but I can’t do the gun. People are going to be very close to me the whole time, they’ll feel it.”

“What are you planning to do in there?” Esposito asked.

Ryan shrugged and gave a smile. “Act like a very sexually frustrated gay man looking to get some.” He winked and grabbed his jacket, leading the way out to the van.

Esposito was speechless for a time before following the group out.

They had planned to visit all three bars that night. Castle mentioned how exciting it must be to bar hop for your job, but Esposito stared him down until he shut up about it. Beckett pointed out that, technically, Ryan was the only one bar hopping.

They pulled up to the first bar and Ryan shucked his jacket, not wanting to have to deal with it when he inevitably took it off because of the heat.

Beckett leaned over to check his wire. “Okay, remember, your name is Patrick and you’re a very insecure young gay man looking for a hookup after a bad breakup.”

Ryan nodded.

“Now, Ryan,” Beckett sighed. “This asshole is not the only guy who’s going to try to take advantage of you if you look like easy pickings. Keep on your toes and don’t take a drink from anyone. If someone offers to buy you a drink, you can go ahead and let them, but keep your eyes on that drink the whole time and don’t let anyone try to drug you. The bartender is the only one allowed to touch your drink. You’re not supposed to be drinking on the job anyway, but you also can’t let anyone think you’re too alert either.”

Ryan nodded again.

“And if things get too rough or something happens, you say…?”

“‘I could really use some fresh air.’” Ryan said.

Beckett nodded. “You say that and we’ll come in and get you. We’ll be listening to everything, but the noise might make it hard, so if you need us to come in, you gotta make sure you say it into the mic. Chances are we’ll be able to hear you okay, but you never know.”

“Right.” Ryan said.

“Okay.” Beckett shrugged. “Go get ‘em.”

Ryan gave her a small smile and hopped out of the van. He checked to make sure he had his wallet and phone before stepping away from the van and heading for the entrance.

“Kev!” Esposito said from behind him.

Ryan turned around, an eyebrow raised.

Esposito hesitated before stepping forward. “Listen,” He said, softly. “I’m sorry. I know you can do the job fine, I just-”

“Javi, it’s okay.” Ryan smiled. “I get it. I’d… probably freak out if it was you.”

Esposito nodded. “Okay, well, just… be safe.”

“When am I not?”

Esposito chuckled and Ryan spun around, once again making his way to the club.

As Esposito got back into the van, his partners gave him a look and he glared at them, suddenly remembering that they very obviously heard everything.

Meanwhile, Ryan was entering the club, showing his ID to the bouncer and already getting a lot of looks from some of the guys in line. He gave them a weak smile and then walked into the very loud club.

He was instantly mesmerized by the amount of glitter, wondering if there was some kind of glitter canon that went off every half hour, because that would honestly be the only explanation. He weaved through the few men lounging around the front before diving headfirst into the chaos.

Loud was an understatement. The only way to talk to anyone would be to yell near their ear, which, Ryan reasoned, was probably the point. It was easy to feel a bit intimidated, so he was sure he already looked the part. He made his way over to the bar and sat gingerly on one of the stools.

“What’re you drinkin’?” The bartender asked with a very sexy smile.

Ryan swallowed. “Uh, I’ll have a beer, I guess.” He gave a smile.

The bartender reached under the counter and produced a beer. He winked and then moved on to his other customers.

Ryan looked down at the beer and then took a long drink, suddenly wondering if he was cut out for this. It was already hot and just the bartender alone was making him flustered.

“Beer guy, huh?”

Ryan turned to the newcomer.

The guy was huge to say the least. He was shirtless with enough muscles to put Esposito to shame. His head was shaved and he had nipple piercings, his smile being the only thing that made him not so intimidating.

Ryan swallowed down the beer already in his mouth. “Uh, yeah, I guess.” He said with a small smile.

The guy stepped closer. “Your first time?”

Ryan looked down. “Is it that obvious?” He asked.

He laughed. “Well, you do look a little like a cat in a backyard full of dogs.”

Ryan huffed out a laugh.

After a minute, the guy offered his hand. “I’m Liam.” He said.

Ryan accepted the handshake. “Uh, Patrick.” He replied, almost forgetting his cover name.

“Well, Patrick,” Liam said, still holding Ryan’s hand. “What do you say I help you loosen up?”

Ryan looked from Liam’s hand back to his face, a little worried he wasn’t going to be given a choice.

“Just one dance.” Liam said, offering that smile.

Ryan took a final swig of his beer and then hopped off the stool. “Alright.” He said, still not sure if this was the best idea, but also knowing there wasn’t much more to the plan than dance and hope to get noticed by a serial killer.

Liam led him to the dance floor and immediately this entire night was way more action than Ryan had seen in a while. Liam was all hands, rubbing them up and down Ryan’s chest and sides and then moving them behind to grip his ass.

Ryan was, interestingly, completely okay with this. He was surrounded by dancing men, having a large rather good-looking one grind up on him, and he felt more free than he had in, possibly, months.

The longer they danced, the more into it Ryan became, letting Liam move behind him and hold him flush against him, his back to Liam’s chest. They moved with the music and Ryan could feel Liam’s breath hot on his neck. He suddenly wasn’t sure if skinny jeans were a good idea, considering how much tighter they suddenly felt.

As the song finally switched, Liam turned Ryan over and leaned down very close. “You’re a good dancer.” He breathed.

Ryan swallowed.

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to leave with you right now,” he smiled slightly. “But, seeing as how this is your first time, I think you should explore. Get the full experience.” He leaned in close so he could talk directly into Ryan’s ear. “But if you do want to go home with me later, come and find me. There is no way I could say no to that ass.”

He gave Ryan’s ass a light slap before pulling away, winking, and then disappearing into the sea of dancing men.

Ryan was frozen as he watched Liam leave, surprised at himself for half wanting to call him back and really go home with him, work be damned.

But he had a job to do, and now was not the time to think about all the dirty things he wanted to do to Liam. Or rather, what he would let _Liam_ do to _him_.

Just as he shook his head of that thought, he was approached by someone else who wanted a dance.

And that was when the snowball started rolling. It was as if a memo had gone out through the whole club that there was a new guy with a great ass that would say yes to anything.

He was asked to dance a total of fifteen times, and seven bought him drinks. He, of course, didn’t drink them all as he had two more bars to go. If the guys there were as generous as here, he was going to get wasted by the time he left the second bar.

About an hour after dancing and drinking, he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and he stepped outside to answer it.

“Yeah?” He asked, clearly a little out of breath.

“What the hell are you doing?” Came Esposito’s voice over the other end.

Ryan looked at a couple of men who’d clearly stepped out for some air and stepped away from them. “Um, my job.”

“Not from where we’re sittin’, pal.” Esposito growled.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Ryan asked, suddenly on the defense.

“You’re supposed to be looking for a serial killer, not dry humping a bunch of dudes.”

Ryan felt his anger start to boil dangerously. “I _am_ looking for him and I haven’t noticed anyone suspicious yet.” He said.

“Okay, then it’s time to move to the next bar. We don’t have all night. Get your ass in the van.”

Before Ryan could get a word out, Esposito hung up. Ryan glared down at the phone and very seriously considered throwing it at the wall and going back into the club. But, loath he was to admit it, Esposito had a point. He had gotten slightly carried away and had pretty much determined the guy wasn’t in there about four dances ago.

Still, did Esposito have to act like such a dick about it?

Ryan angrily shoved the phone in his pocket and headed back to the van. He hesitated before opening the door and climbing into a very uncomfortable atmosphere. Clearly, they’d all heard the exchange again.

“Jesus, did you get attacked by a glitter bomb?” Esposito asked.

“Let’s just go to the next damn club.” Ryan said, glaring at Esposito.

The ride was possibly the most awkward any of them had ever felt. Ryan reached down and grabbed a new shirt, silently changing into it and not once looking at anyone.

Lanie had bought three shirts, saying that each club was going to bring all kinds of different smells. If he was going to three, he couldn’t do it in one shirt. And she was right. That first club had it almost completely drenched with his sweat, other people's’ sweat, and alcohol.

Ryan may not have been looking at anyone while he ripped his shirt off to change into a new one, but Esposito couldn’t tear his eyes away. It was stupid. He’d seen Ryan shirtless so many times before, but there was something about those jeans…

The van pulled to a stop just as Ryan finished buttoning his shirt. He sighed and looked up at Beckett. “I’ll try to make this trip shorter.” He said softly before securing his wire and hopping out of the van.

Beckett looked back at Esposito with an eyebrow raised to silently tell him thanks for pissing Ryan off and possibly throwing him off his game.

Esposito looked away sheepishly.

Ryan entered the second club with a slightly different air about him. Clearly he wasn’t so intimidated anymore, but he also wasn’t really feeling happy either. He hoped that could still work as he was supposed to be heartbroken for his cover story anyway.

This club was about as different from the other as it was possible to be. It was about three tons lighter on the glitter, but what it lacked in glitter, it made up for in sex. The last one, though sex was a huge part of it, was more like a giant party. This one was definitely more like a giant orgy, and Ryan suddenly had a feeling their guy was probably more inclined to be in this club than the last.

Just as he had with the first club, he made his way to the bar and ordered a beer. The bartender was not as nice as the last one, and Ryan wondered if it was because he looked more like a depressed puppy this time. He tried to let the alcohol loosen him up so he could seem more approachable.

As Ryan nursed his beer, he took a second to scan the club, looking for any shady characters. It was actually really difficult because he counted about ten shady characters standing off to the side looking like wolves sizing their meals up.

Ryan was trained to defend himself, but he definitely didn’t feel safe at the moment.

He’d been sitting at the bar for a while before he gave up on this experience being even remotely the same as the last. There was no Liam to take him away from the bar and expose him to the gay club experience, so he had to do it himself. He set his empty beer bottle on the counter and made his way into the chaos.

He was instantly uncomfortable. It definitely felt like an orgy and, though Ryan never looked down on someone for their sexual experiences especially considering what he himself had done, this was where he drew the line. He’d never wanted to get out of a place more than he had at that moment.

As he started backing out of the sea of people “dancing”, someone stopped him from behind. He turned and came face to face with another very large man. Muscles like Liam’s, but instead of no hair, he had a long ponytail. He was also wearing a shirt that looked a couple sizes too small for him.

He smiled down at Ryan and Ryan never felt more like a piece of meat in his life.

“Hey, there.” The guy said, his voice low and predatory.

“Uh…”

“You look a little lost.” The guy snaked an arm around Ryan’s middle and held him close. “I haven’t seen you around here before.”

“I… I’m just looking for something new.” Ryan said, feeling every bit the damsel in distress.

“Well, then.” They guy said, beginning to back Ryan up. “Allow me to show it to you.”

Ryan let out an “oof” as his back hit the wall, but was unable to say anything as the guy was suddenly kissing him.

It was gross, to say the least. Liam had danced up on him, but at least he was respectful about it and hadn’t tried this. It wasn’t that the guy was a bad kisser, his lips were actually very soft, but he’d forced himself on Ryan and Ryan was definitely not okay with it.

Once he’d been given the use of his lips back and the guy moved down his jaw to his neck, Ryan attempted to make him quit it.

“L-look, you’re not bad at this or anything, but can you please… uh, stop?”

Ryan was ignored and the guy continued to move down his neck, letting his hands wander down his back and to his ass.

“U-um, hey, can you just… hold on for a second?”

Again he was ignored and he was starting to get frustrated as the guy was much larger than he was and had him securely pinned.

The guy moved one hand from his ass to Ryan’s crotch, and that was all Ryan could take.

“Hey! Hey, I said stop!” Ryan found his strength and pushed the guy off him, making him stumble a little.

He gave Ryan a very dangerous look. “Stop?” He said, his voice no longer soft and seductive, but clipped and angry.

But Ryan had been in dangerous situations before. Granted, none of them were quite like this, but he still wasn’t one to be intimidated. “Yes, stop.” He said, angrily. “Do you understand, or do I need to break it down for you?”

The guy’s mouth twitched and in a flash he suddenly had Ryan’s arms pinned to the wall and was pressed so close to him that Ryan could hardly move. He moved down to kiss him again, forcing his mouth open, though Ryan fought to keep it closed.

He struggled underneath the guy, doing whatever he could to try and get away from him, but to no avail. The guy was big and didn’t give Ryan an inch. But he knew if the guy ever pulled away to do anything more, Ryan was going to pull out all the stops on his training and lay the guy out flat.

But the guy wasn’t pulling away. Apparently, he was content to rub against Ryan and kiss him until he was satisfied. Ryan tried to say something, anything, but it only came out muffled as his mouth was still being used by someone else.

As the thought crossed his mind to just drop and act like dead weight in an attempt to catch the guy off guard and make him drop him, the creep was pulled away.

“He said stop!”

Ryan watched with wide eyes as Esposito was suddenly there, punching the guy square in the face and knocking him on his ass.

“Javi, what-”

“Come on.” Esposito growled, grabbing his wrist and leading him through the sea of surprised faces.

When they made it out of the club, Ryan pulled his wrist back and stopped walking. “Javi, what the hell?”

Esposito stopped and turned to him, a confused and angry expression on his face. “What?”

“What if that was the guy?” Ryan asked.

“Then I just punched a serial killer in the face, didn’t I?”

“You could’ve jeopardized the whole thing, Javi!” Ryan said angrily. “What if that was him? What if he was in there? Now we’ll never know!”

“Oh, come on! Like you would have even noticed anyone the way that guy was all over you!”

“You think I asked for that?!”

“No, I don’t. Which is why I ran in there and saved your ass before that creep could have done anything to you!”

“I had it handled!”

“Really?” Esposito stepped so close to him, Ryan was startled into silence. “When he was this close to you and had you backed up all the way to the solid wall, how the hell did you plan to get out of that?”

“Guys, break it up!” Beckett was suddenly there, pulling the two of them apart and glaring at each of them in turn. “Ryan.” She turned to him. “Did you see him in there?”

Ryan sighed. “I… I don’t know. I don’t think so, but I can’t be sure.”

“Okay.” She rubbed at her eyes. “Look, I don’t think we should continue this.”

“Beckett-”

“It’s too dangerous!” She cut Ryan off. “Let’s face it, this wasn’t a solid plan to begin with, but there are enough creeps out there that this would probably not have been the last experience with one of them. Who knows what the last club is like?”

Ryan stepped back and took a second to dispel some of his anger. “So, what, we just walk away? We let this guy get away with raping a murdering every guy he gets his hands on?”

“I didn’t say that.” Beckett shrugged. “But come on, Ryan. That right there was already scary enough. I’m with Espo on this. I don’t want something like that to happen to you, especially not if it’s also a serial killer.” She sighed. “We can go back to the precinct and think of another way to get him. We’ll go over what we’ve got, see if there’s something we missed, and go from there.”

Ryan gritted his teeth and looked away.

“Ryan?” Beckett asked after a minute.

Ryan looked at her. “Fine.” He said, his tone clipped. He turned and walked in the opposite direction.

“Ryan, where are you going?” Castle asked, having finally spoken after silently watching the exchange.

Ryan turned back to them. “I’ll get a cab back, I need to clear my head.” He pointed to his head. “Alcohol.” He said in explanation before turning around and walking away.

They watched him for a time before deciding to go back to the precinct and wait for him there.

Ryan walked slowly down the street, giving himself some time to think before catching a cab. The alcohol was still muddling his brain, more so than it usually would have. He stumbled a little and his eyes lost focus for a second. He shook his head and continued walking, sure that the alcohol was catching up to him.

He took a few more steps but had to stop and grip onto a streetlamp as a wave of dizziness washed over him. He tried to move forward but it was possibly the hardest thing he’d ever attempted. This was worse than being drunk, this was…

Oh god.

Ryan immediately reached for his phone, hitting Esposito’s speed dial and listening to it ring. He tried to keep walking but stumbled and ran into the wall. Using the wall to hold himself up, he stood and listened as he was taken to Esposito’s voicemail.

“Espo,” Ryan said, his voice slurred. “I… I’m not… okay.” He tried to get the words out. “I think… I think I’ve been… drugged…”

“Hey, man, you alright?” Someone from behind him said.

“Yeah… yeah, I…”

“Woah, you don’t look alright. Why don’t you let me help you?”

Ryan felt whoever it was put his hands on him and help him stand.

“N-no, I’m… fine.” Ryan could feel himself slipping further and further.

“I’ll help you, baby. It’ll be alright.”

Ryan tried to focus on the man holding him up, but the drug was suddenly too hard to fight and he was powerless to stop the guy from hefting him into a van.

~.~.~

Esposito slumped down in his chair and waited for Castle and Beckett to do the same. He’d cooled down significantly since arguing with Ryan outside the club, and it was in huge part due to the fact that they’d all decided to drop the undercover thing.

He’d been against it from the second Ryan came up with the idea. Esposito was honestly tired of the self-sacrificing bullshit Ryan always seemed to want to take part in. He didn’t want to think about how hurt Ryan looked when it was clear to him that his partners didn’t think he could handle things.

 

The only problem was, they knew he could handle himself, they just didn’t want to take that risk. Anyone could end up hurt, no matter how much training they had.

Beckett pulled out the file for them to go over while they waited for Ryan.

It didn’t take long for Esposito to start to worry. He couldn’t really concentrate on the file when he suddenly realized that they had left Ryan to walk around alone in front of a club he’d been sexually assaulted in. Seriously, how stupid could a group of people get?

Esposito reached into his pocket to grab his phone, his worry outweighing his anger. He didn’t even stop to consider that Ryan probably wouldn’t answer his phone if he was mad.

As he fished the phone out, he saw a voicemail from Ryan and, trying not to panic, he held the phone up to his ear to listen.

He almost dropped the phone when he realized what had happened. For a second, he couldn’t get his voice to work, but he finally got a single “Beckett!” out before restarting the message so they could listen.

Beckett and Castle stared wide-eyed at the phone and, before another word could be said, they were bolting out the door and heading back to the club.

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Beckett asked as they piled into her car, Castle taking the backseat while Esposito took passenger.

“It was on silent!” Esposito defended. “You think I would’ve rejected a call from my partner? Dammit, I knew he should’ve taken a gun!”

“How much use would a gun be in a drugged person’s hands?” Beckett asked, stepping on the gas and using her siren. “He probably would’ve killed a lot more people than just that one guy.”

Esposito got chills just thinking about it. Whoever the guy was, though he was more than likely the guy they were looking for, had called Ryan “baby” in about the creepiest way a person could. His evil voice over the phone was enough to make Esposito’s skin crawl.

They screeched to a halt in front of the club, a few unis right behind them, and wasted literally no time. They showed their badges to the bouncer and got the entire club to shut down, ushering people out for interviews. The lights around them turned on and they headed straight for the bartender. If Ryan had been roofied, which was the killer’s MO, they would have had to put it in his drink. And who else would have noticed than the bartender?

“NYPD, we need to ask you some questions.” Beckett said, flashing her badge at the bartender.

The bartender, looking very inconvenienced, leaned over the counter with a sigh. “Okay.” He said. Esposito instantly didn’t like him.

“There was a guy in here a little while ago, went by the name of Patrick.” Beckett said. “He was wearing a dark blue shirt and earrings.”

“I see a lot of guys in here.” The bartender said.

“Sideburns, blue eyes.” Esposito said, getting frustrated. “He ordered a beer and then promptly got pushed up against the wall by some creep.”

“Hey, aren’t you the guy that punched someone in the face tonight?”

“It’s about to be two people if you don’t cooperate.” Esposito said dangerously. “Do you remember him or not?”

“Okay, fine.” The bartender said, raising his hands in surrender. “Yeah, I think I remember him. What about him?”

“Did you see anything suspicious? Anyone lurking around, watching him?” Esposito asked.

The bartender raised an eyebrow. “I dunno. A guy like that walks in here, a million vultures are instantly on him. So, yeah, I’d say about every guy had their eye on him.”

“Did anyone do something to his drink?” Beckett asked. “Did he turn away from it at some point and someone messed with it? Please, try to think. We’re in a hurry.”

The bartender looked away as if he were annoyed by everything. “Your boy didn’t set it down until he was done.”

Esposito gritted his teeth and then, so fast no one saw it coming, he gripped the front of the bartender’s shirt and pulled him close so he was bent over the counter. “Do you think this is a fucking game?” He yelled straight in his face. “I can tell you’re hiding something, and you’re going to tell me what it is. Right now you’re withholding information from the police, which is already a serious offense. Do you want me to book you for anything I can think of? From where I’m standing, you could be in some serious shit.”

“I don’t know anything, alright?” The bartender said, clearly scared but trying to act nonchalant about it.

“Bullshit!” Esposito shook the guy. “If anything happens to my partner, I will be taking it out on your ass. Put it this way, if he doesn’t survive, neither do you!”

“Okay!” The bartender finally broke, though that crazy look in Esposito’s eye could break anyone. “I didn’t wanna do it, alright? I didn’t. But the guy… He gave me a lot of money.”

It took a second for Esposito to fully understand what he’d just said. “You roofied someone… for _money_?” He said dangerously.

“Twenty-five thousand, man. That’s a lot!”

“Twenty-fi-” Esposito cut himself off with his own anger. “You realize, if that man kills my partner, that makes you an accessory to murder?”

“M-murder? No, he was just gonna-”

“Just gonna what? Have his way with him? You think that makes it any better?!” He pushed the guy so hard he fell back behind the counter and a few bottles shattered. Esposito then moved behind the counter and pulled the guy up by the front of his shirt again. “Who was the guy? Who paid you to do this to my partner?”

“I-I don’t know who he was. J-just some white guy w-with like a nice haircut and a fancy suit and one of those fancy goatee things. H-he said to just drop the pill in the guy’s beer and he’d give me the money.”

“And did he give it to you?”

“He said he’d come back with it after.”

Esposito gritted his teeth. “You’re probably never going to see that money, you moron. Is this your first night out in the real world, you fucking idiot?” He let the bartender go and stood straight. “Somebody book him.” He said. “You’re going to jail for as long as I can make them keep you there. Believe me, I will personally handle the paperwork, you piece of shit.”

He left the guy to a couple unis standing by.

“So now what?” Beckett asked, clearly not even worried her partner had maybe gone too far. If it was her, she’d do the same thing. “We’ve only got a vague description and nothing else to go on.”

Esposito put a hand to his head. “This place is giving me a headache. I need some air.”

“Guys…” Castle said slowly. “Does Ryan still have his wire on?”

“He might still have his cell phone too.” Esposito said, his eyes going wide. “I mean usually the guy dumps them, but he could still have it.”

Beckett led the way outside the club, pulling out her cellphone and dialing the precinct, hoping to get their best tech expert, Ellis, on the phone.

“Ellis.”

“Oh thank god.” Beckett said, with a sigh of relief. “Listen, Ellis, we need you to track Ryan’s phone and his wire. We might be able to find him if he still has them on him.”

“Already way ahead of you, Beckett.” Ellis said, the sounds of her typing on the computer in the background. “His phone looks like it was dumped right outside the club. If you look around, you’ll probably find it. The wire, however, might still be on him. The trace is almost complete and I’ll have a location for you.”

“Espo!” Beckett called to him. “She’s tracing his wire. See if you can find his cell around here somewhere, she said it was dumped here.”

Esposito nodded and looked around, walking in the direction he knew Ryan had gone. He hadn’t walked very far when he saw the phone sitting in the ditch, slightly scuffed up, but otherwise unscathed. “Got it!” He yelled back.

“Beckett.” Ellis said over the phone. “I got him.”

~.~.~

Ryan had never felt so scared in his life. In every dangerous situation he’d ever been in, he was always able to fight back somehow. But this time he was completely immobile. He couldn’t even talk, he was so disoriented.

He was lying in a bed, that much he could figure out. He either couldn’t remember, or at some point he blacked out on the way to wherever they were. Though he was pretty sure it was the guy’s house. Or maybe his lair. He definitely had that evil villain thing going for him.

The only thing Ryan could do was cry, which, he thought to himself, was a perfectly reasonable response to his situation considering the fact that he was pretty sure he was going to die.

As for the other thing he didn’t want to think about, he was almost positive nothing like that had happened yet or he would definitely feel its after effects.

He let a couple tears slide down his face and to his ears as he was lying down and there was no where else for them to go. He sniffed and silently hoped that Esposito wasn’t mad at him and that he got his message. He had no idea how long he’d been gone, but he knew at some point they would realize something was wrong. And he vowed, if he ever saw Esposito again, he would do nothing but apologize.

As he lay there trying to scrounge up any kind of hope he could muster, the door to the bedroom opened and light flooded in. Every scrap of hope left him and was replaced with unbridled fear.

The guy turned the light on and sauntered slowly to the bedside, smiling down at Ryan like an animal he was about to slaughter.

He wasn’t familiar at all. Ryan couldn’t remember seeing him at either of the clubs. He was rather tall, though it was hard to pinpoint an exact height as Ryan was still lying on the bed, and he very clearly worked out. He wasn’t as large as Liam or the guy who assaulted him, but he definitely had something going for him. In different circumstances, Ryan might have been attracted to him.

His hair was short and blond and his eyes looked maybe green from what Ryan could make out. Any other distinguishing features were his goatee and his long nose. The guy looked like a respectable citizen, and, in all honesty, probably lived a respectable life with a respectable job. They always looked normal on the outside. He probably even had a sensible car.

Ryan swallowed and tried to blink away the tears forming in his eyes. He knew what was coming next and he, more than anything, wished he was anywhere else.

“You don’t have to be afraid.” The guy said, his voice probably would have been sexy in any other circumstance.

Ryan came up with about twenty different comebacks that he couldn’t say, which just made him angry.

The guy moved his hand to Ryan’s forehead and brushed his bangs away. Ryan flinched.

“It won’t take long.” The guy said. Ryan assumed it was supposed to come off as maybe affectionate, but was creepy and gross instead. “You probably won’t remember afterward, so it’s not that bad, right?”

Of course Ryan wouldn’t remember because he was going to be dead, but, of course, he still couldn’t say anything which meant he couldn’t point that out.

The guy sat on the bed next to Ryan. He lifted his finger and began to line Ryan’s face, stroking over his eyebrows and down his nose. “You have a very beautiful face.” He murmured. “The second I saw you, I knew I had to have you.”

Was that supposed to be a compliment? Because, if so, the man sucked at compliments.

“You know,” The guy stood and began unbuttoning his shirt. “The media has labelled me as a predator and a creep. They’ve warned the public about me. They’ve listed all the things I’ve done and called them terrible.” He dropped his shirt to the ground and then turned to face Ryan. “But all those things aren’t true.” He stepped back over to the bed and then moved to straddle Ryan. He smiled down at him. “I think what they should call me is a very passionate lover.”

Ryan would’ve stopped the kiss if he could, but all he could do was grimace as the guy leaned down and kissed him.

“Oh come now.” He said as he pulled away. “It couldn’t have been that bad.” He reached down to grip the back of Ryan’s head and pulled him up for another kiss, which Ryan was powerless to stop.

He let Ryan fall back against the pillows and then moved his hands to the buttons on Ryan’s shirt. He began to pop them open slowly, taking his time.

Ryan just wanted him to hurry up and be done with it. At this point, it was just slow torture.

The guy moved to kiss his neck and down his chest, kissing every time he opened another button. He’d almost gotten all the way down, when they both heard a noise coming from somewhere in the house.

Ryan didn’t know what it meant, but he was more than happy when the noise made the guy stop and turn his head toward the open door. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but when the guy got off of him and began walking toward the door, Ryan hoped whoever was in the house would punch him in the face.

Everything was quiet for a solid thirty seconds after the guy left the room when Ryan heard possibly the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard in his life.

“GET DOWN ON THE GROUND NOW! HANDS ON YOUR HEAD! DO YOU THINK I’M FUCKING WITH YOU? ON THE GROUND!”

Ryan knew that voice anywhere. He wanted to call out for his partner and let him know where he was, but the drug was still muddling literally everything, so all he could do was wait to be found.

It didn’t take long.

“Where is he, you son of a bitch?”

There was a lot of commotion going on outside the room and, after what sounded like someone maybe punching someone else in the face (Ryan hoped Esposito had hit him), he heard people running into the room.

“Kevin! Oh my god, Kevin!”

Esposito was suddenly there, dropping his gun and sitting on the bed. He pulled Ryan into his arms, and Ryan let the dam break. The overwhelming emotion of having been rescued from one of the most traumatizing experiences was too much and, though he still couldn’t move, he sobbed into Esposito’s shoulder.

Esposito began to rock back and forth. “It's okay.” He said softly. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

~.~.~

It took a while for the drug to finally work it’s way through Ryan’s system. He slept through most of it, but it was honestly torture for everyone involved waiting for Ryan to finally be back to normal. By the time Ryan was released from the hospital, he was able to walk again, but still slightly disoriented and drowsy.

Esposito had been instructed not to leave Ryan alone after he went home, which was a rule they were both more than happy to follow. Ryan especially didn’t want to be left alone after what happened.

After Ryan reassured Castle and Beckett that he was okay and gave them both a hug, Esposito helped him into a cab and the two of them headed to Ryan’s place. They hardly said a word, save for Esposito asking every once in a while if Ryan was okay, but other than that, Ryan clearly didn’t want to talk about it and Esposito definitely didn’t want to push him.

They arrived at Ryan’s building and, after Esposito paid the cab driver, they made their way to Ryan’s apartment.

“You hungry at all?” Esposito asked, feeling a little helpless and like he wanted to just _do_ something. They’d already taken care of the guy responsible and there really was nothing more to be done, but he hated this. Mostly he just wanted to sit and watch Ryan to make sure he never left his sight again.

Ryan shook his head in answer to his question.

“Okay.” Esposito said. “Well, then maybe you should sleep. You look beat.”

Ryan sighed and nodded. He sniffed and then turned to his bedroom, walking slowly and dragging his feet some. He was clearly exhausted.

“Hey, Kev.” Esposito said. “You sure you’re alright?”

Ryan stopped and turned to face his partner. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just tired.”

Esposito nodded and watched him head to his room. He sighed and flopped down on the couch, scrubbing his face with his hand and trying to reassure himself that Ryan was here and he was fine. Well, as fine as he could be under the circumstances. With time, he would be fine.

After a while, Esposito turned on the tv to distract himself. He was just wondering if he should order a pizza when he heard shuffling from the hallway. He turned his head to find Ryan standing there in his pajamas looking at the ground like a scared child.

“Kevin?” Esposito asked, turning off the tv and standing.

Ryan looked up at him, tear streaks on his face. “I’m not okay, Javi.” He said in a small voice.

Esposito was by his side in three strides, gathering him up into his arms and holding him firmly.

Ryan sniffled as he tried to not cry so hard. “I c-can’t sleep.” He said. “I k-keep seeing his f-face and… and _feeling_ his hands on me.”

“Oh god, Kevin.” Esposito said, suddenly angry and wanting to find that asshole and shoot him in the dick, whether he was on his way to prison or not. “You said you couldn’t remember anything.”

  
“Not everything. Just bits and pieces.” Ryan said softly, burying his face in his partner’s neck. “I just can’t be alone in there.”

“Okay.” Esposito said. “Then how about we both camp out on the couch? We can order a pizza and maybe play Madden?”

Ryan pulled away and looked up at his partner. He smiled slightly before nodding.

“Okay.” Esposito smiled. “You settle on the couch and I’ll handle the pizza.”

But Ryan didn’t want to let go of Esposito and instead shuffled a little closer with a frown.

“Or we can both handle the pizza.” Esposito said with a sad smile.

The two of them walked over to the table to grab Esposito’s cell and then walked to the couch, flopping down together. Ryan sat right next to Esposito, about as close as he could, while Esposito called the pizza place.

It may have sounded weird, the fact that Ryan wanted to be so close to someone, especially after what had happened, but it wasn’t. Esposito was vastly different from the guy, and not just in looks. In everything. His voice, his presence, everything about Esposito made Ryan feel safer. At this point, all Ryan wanted to do was have Esposito hold him for the rest of his life.

They opted out of playing Madden after realizing that Esposito would have to use his hands for that instead of holding Ryan. So they chose a funny movie and snuggled on the couch. When the pizza arrived, Ryan stood and went with Esposito to answer the door, holding his hand the whole time.

The guy delivering the pizza noticed the hands and gave Esposito a weird look.

“Do you have a problem?” Esposito asked, angrily.

The kid was startled and looked away.

Esposito sighed and gave the kid the money for the pizza and, though he didn’t want to, Ryan made him give a small tip.

When Esposito shut the door, Ryan pulled his hand back and stepped away mumbling “Sorry.”

Esposito set the pizza down. “What are you talking about?”

“I just…” Ryan hesitated. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He said, not looking at him.

Esposito looked down at his partner, looking so small and sad, and stepped forward. He reached down and held both Ryan’s hands in his. “Can I tell you a secret?” He asked.

Ryan looked up after a second.

“I don’t mind at all.” He shrugged slightly. “In fact, when I’m with you, I feel better. I kinda feel like… I guess like I’m home. Whenever I’m with you… I feel complete.” He chuckled a little. “I guess that kinda sounds corny, huh?”

Ryan smiled softly. “Yeah. Yeah it does.” He snorted. “But I like corny.”

Esposito leaned forward and rested his forehead against Ryan’s. “You know something?” He said softly.

“What?” Ryan asked, his eyes closed.

“I think I was so mad last night because… well, I guess I was jealous a little.”

Ryan pulled away and looked at him.

Esposito shrugged. “You were dancing with a bunch of guys, and I could hear everything they were saying and I just… you looked so great in those jeans.”

Ryan laughed slightly. “Well, I can promise you I won’t be going back to a club any time soon.” His face fell slightly. “Actually, there are a lot of things I may not do for a while.”

Esposito understood immediately. “I totally get it, man.” He said. “I actually hadn’t really planned on telling you all this today anyway. I was gonna wait until you felt better, but I guess the situation called for it. But we won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with. If, for the next month, all you wanna do is sit with me on the couch and watch cartoons and eat pizza, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Ryan smiled and leaned forward, kissing Esposito softly on the cheek. “Thank you.” He said into his ear. “For everything.”

~.~.~

**6 months later**

 

“Patrick?”

Ryan turned around in his chair to come face to face with none other than Liam. He smiled when he saw him looking exactly the same as he had the last time Ryan had been in this club.

“Liam, hey!” Ryan said, offering him a handshake.

“You come back for another dance?” Liam asked, waggling his eyebrows.

Ryan laughed. “You know I will never forget my first dance with you Liam, and I would definitely be down for another, but I’m actually here with someone.”

“Kevin?”

Liam turned around to find Esposito standing there with an unamused expression.

Before some kind of testosterone battle could ensue, Ryan jumped down from his stool and stepped over to his partner.

“Liam, this is my boyfriend Javier. Javi, this is Liam. Remember, I told you about him?”

“Oh, right.” Esposito nodded. “I remember.” He offered his hand for a handshake to which Liam accepted.

“Well, you’re a lucky man, Javier. Your boy’s a great dancer.” Liam said, smiling at Ryan.

Ryan blushed and looked away.

“Well, that’s why we’re here, actually.” Esposito said. “I have yet to see him in action and he promised me last week we could come here, so I’m holding him to it.”

Liam laughed. “Well, don’t let me stop you. Patrick, I’m glad you found someone.”

“Oh, uh… thanks.” Ryan smiled and waved and Liam went back into the sea of dancers.

“He called you Patrick.” Esposito said.

Ryan shrugged. “I’m not about to tell him I lied to him.”

Esposito laughed. “Okay, well, Patrick, I think it’s time you made good on that promise.”

“Okay, but I’m really not as good as Liam thinks. And besides that, I was drunk.”

“Let me be the judge of that.” Esposito said, grabbing Ryan’s hand and leading him to the dance floor.

It took a long time before Ryan would let Esposito touch him the way he was now, but in Esposito’s opinion, it was worth the wait.

He held Ryan about as close as he could, happy that Ryan had decided to invest in a few new skinny jeans. They moved their hips together as Esposito kept one arm around his partner, his hand splayed out on the small of his back.

The heat began to build up as they danced, the people around them only adding to it.

Ryan moved his hands up and around Esposito’s neck, pulling him closer so their noses were touching. He hesitated slightly before closing the gap completely and kissing Esposito softly on the lips. Esposito, before Ryan had time to pull away, pulled him roughly closer and deepened the kiss, all thoughts of dancing lost.

By the time they came up for air, the song had changed and they were both standing there grinning like idiots.

**  
** It was by no means their first kiss, and it wouldn’t be the last, but it was definitely in the top five.


End file.
